'Fifty Shades of Grey — the Musical'? (Video)
"Fifty Shades of Grey - the Musical." Sure, why not? At this point, it seems like it was inevitable. On its road to dominating every sphere of entertainment and marketing imaginable, a musical version of E.L. James' "Fifty Shade of Grey" is really just the next logical step on the path.
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With the landslide of fan-made videos appearing almost daily online now, sooner or later someone was bound to make a musical of James' astonishingly popular novel, parody or otherwise. And while James hasn't endorsed the video for "Christian Penetrates the Suburbs" - yet, at least - and its creators likely consider the song a parody, we can't help but wonder what a "Fifty Shades" musical built on similar songs would actually be like.
For better or worse, the creators seem to intend the video as a parody. Although, I'd argue its interpretation of the novel is a lot closer to James' book then most people would be willing to admit.
Unlike many other fan made videos that feature A-list stars like Ryan Gosling, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, Matt Bomer and Alexis Bledel, Ian Somerhalder, Henry Cavhill, and Zac Efron, here the stars of the video are anonymous actors/singers. Nevertheless, the new trailer is so "kitschie, kooky & ...korny," that one fan site is offering a $100 reward to anyone who can come up with something better.
"Fifty Shades of Grey — the Musical" opens with a housewife returning to her suburban home while chatting on the phone to her BFF about the new book she's reading. From her description, it sounds exactly like "Fifty Shades," to us. Then, as she emerges from her car, she sees him: There in her driveway stands Christian Grey. And he's even brought a slave contract already typed up and ready for her signature.
"I'll call you later," she gasps to her friend. And the rest is a funny, decidedly kitschy ride through the horny, frustrated housewife's wildest fantasies.
"Baby, won't you be my suburbanite Ana?" croons Mr. Grey. "I'll take you to an erotic Nirvana/Fill all your needs Baby, all the time/Just sign right here on the dotted line."
And that's exactly what happens. Christian not only takes care of his "suburbanite Ana" erotically, he picks up her kids from school and "pays a guy without a green card to clean her pool." And the housewife takes to Mr. Grey's inimitable brand of erotic power and control like a natural.
"Oh, Christian, I've been naughty," she sings ecstatically, "Spank me in my brand new Audi/...Dominate me with that body/...Hold your ears 'cause I cum laude."
You can watch the "Fifty Shades of Grey" musical trailer on the video below. Think you could do better? Who would you choose for a real musical? Let us know in the comments.